She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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