you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
