Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
