At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
