Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
