pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
