umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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