her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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