we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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