Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Fuck appropriateness.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
