we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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