im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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