I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
