Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
