i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
