I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
