i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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