Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
why do cheetos always look like penises
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize