You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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