So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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