Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
