yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
