im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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