Sry I called you an 8
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
