so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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