and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
