I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
