Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
