am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
