And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
