you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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