I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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