just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize