There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
