i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Say something about gay babies.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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