peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm too high and old for this...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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