in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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