Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
