i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize