just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
