just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
