Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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