I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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