is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
