nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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