Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I don't think brook has ever known best
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just found a bag of teeth...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
