I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
ttyl tear gas
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
