I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
