I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
This beer is not sobering me up at all
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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