My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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