i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
