I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
