im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
