oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's just like the Real World with babies
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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