Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
