If i come over, it means nothing
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
