I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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