this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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