i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
